A Call For Reader Input: Let's Shape The Second Half Of My Substack Together
I share a bit about my motivations for Substack, the desire to publish in larger outlets, and asking the readers key questions.
Beloved friends and dear readers, I have a few things to share that are exciting for me and I’d like to solicit your input.
I’m In My Substack Era
First, I want to share why I have a Substack. I’ve been writing/dialoguing in some format since high school (Live Journal) through college (Twitter, Facebook) through my working periods (Tumblr, Wordpress, Medium, LinkedIn, IG stories, TikTok).
I realized most of my past writing was passion-motivated: I wrote when I had something to say and I wanted to immediately get it from out of my head into the atmosphere. I don’t think that will ever stop for me. Substack was a commitment I made to get back into consistent writing after a long stretch of short-form writing and videos. I realized that I LOVEEEEEEEEEEE long-form. I love nuance and to take my time and to let things breathe.
Second, I’m going to share why I publish weekly on Substack. I read that keeping promises to one’s self is a form of self-care. And when I looked at the types of things others do for self-care (running, going to the gym, meal prepping, etc), none of those were appealing to me. But writing and communicating is something that fills up my cup, lets me process and make sense of what’s swirling around my head, allows me to connect with people, and allows me to solicit new thoughts to keep growing as a person.
The goal for me has to be demonstrate that I can follow something disciplined. That I could write with consistency. For me, a public form of accountability is a stronger motivator than just a consistent practice of essaying privately.
My future ambition is to find a great balance and ability to wield my passion and have the muscle to be disciplined in output. The advice I’ve gotten is to draft/write hot and edit/place cool.
Third, I realized I write some big, super-sized essays and some that have research-heavy aspects.I would not change that for anything. I love to yap and go deep and long!
At the same time, I am wondering if delivering that amount of depth each week is possible with my future goal (see below). I want my Substack to remain free forever because in this hyper capitalistic world, some things should just be free. And knowledge is one where I believe we gatekeep a bit too much of it. While yes, people should be paid for their research, work, and thoughts, I have a complicated relationship with asking for money for a gift that has been given to me: my brain.
In fact, the parallel that I might draw is to my family ethos of service to others. You’ve heard me talk about my family being deeply invested in community. And the first person that came to my mind as I wrote the last paragraph were my mother and my grandmother. My mother is where I got the brain and curiosity that I have. Shout out to her for leaving me something that protects me and allows me to feed myself (working). And then my grandmother because she said: God gave me the gift of cooking, so it is what I will do each Sunday for the church for as long as I can.
And that is why I feel weird about asking every day people to pay for my writing or thinking. But before you protest, read the section below.
Positioning Myself For the Future
When I reflected on over achieving against my goal in the first half of this year, I was so proud of myself. And I remain proud! At the same time, I think I realized that I’ve been writing really long, deep dive essays which presents a slight wrinkle for my broader goals.
My broader goals include finding time to be a published essayist and writer here as well as in other outlets/magazines. Part of that goal is that I’d like to expand my readership and my ability to be connected. For me, writing has allowed me to connect with people who like ideas. It’s been a filter for the friends who like to think big and ponder. So if you’re here, please don’t leave, I love you.
As I approach 40, I start to reflect on what my 40s and 50s will entail. My hope is more friends who think big (or enjoy being in the company of, asking questions, and engaging). I’d probably say these are the people who’ve had a natural affinity for the library at some point (or still) in their life. That is why I’d like to spend some time getting into outlets/magazines so I can find my way into a community that is larger than my existing community.
What I mean by that is: I love the friends I have, but their desire to build their own families, move to the suburbs, or otherwise prioritize other things, means that I have to start planning for my future as a childless, somewhat orphaned person who loves hugs and being around others.
Here are the mechanics of getting published in an outlet/magazine.
They usually require first-rights: they run your essay/writing first before it can go anywhere else (Substack or otherwise)
Exclusivity period: commonly 90 days before you can publish it on your own platform, which makes sense given the reach they provide and potential payment (though not all pay)
Fresh ideas: while some of my past essays could be adapted, editors typically want an essay that feels new because of points 1 and 2
The prospect of adapting past essays doesn’t sound that appealing to me because I write hot and do best when it’s my burning passion. Think about eating leftover french fries. Some foods reheat fine, but others not so much.
While getting paid for my thinking and writing is not my primary motivator, I think this would allow me to continue to offer lots of me as a public good while also monetizing where it makes sense. People can always provide tips through my ko-fi link, but until I need writing to pay my bills, I feel weird asking individuals versus organizations and established entities.
The better alternative for individuals to share their appreciation is probably just sharing, liking, and commenting. Primarily because today’s attention economy is overly tied to algorithms that use those signals push smaller creators to larger audiences. Unlike TikTok or Instagram where I am leveraging some of my beauty capital to drive views and engagement, I don’t have that same ability on this platform.
That said, I’d rather a text, email, or comment here and there that is thoughtful over just doing it unless you are commenting publicly and giving me thoughtful in my DMs, email or text. What I love about my friends who read is that all of you are thoughtful. At the same time, putting your name online puts you out there in a way that I can understand wanting to avoid.
The cost of our friendship is not sharing, liking, or commenting. I promise you that. I’d rather keep our friendship and find readers organically than for you to feel obligated. It reminds me of trying to date someone who sings for a living and you hate their voice, the genre, or other aspects of their process. No one should subject themselves to pain for the sake of love.
Part of my new path includes honing my craft further and expanding community. One of my friends suggested writing classes to me and I was like “bih, what? I know how to write!” until I realized and she said it was for me to find like-minded people to be in community with (something I crave).
But also, one of my dear writer friends who I went to HBS with reminded me that one can always improve their craft. And she’s part of the reason I’m even deciding to take the class and start to submit to outlets/magazines. She, Verdell Walker, is a published fiction and non-fiction writer whom I respect deeply. I am following in her path.
As a result, I’ve enrolled in a 10-week writing class that meets weekly for 3 hours. I have no clue of the writing assignments or commitment that will take, but I won’t move from the commitment I made to self, it just might look a little different.
Classes start tonight!
My Open Questions
In realizing how much depth has been in the past essays, I don’t want to reduce the quality of what I share here. That would be awful to me.
Question: What makes the “status” posts impactful?
I’ve noticed that the two posts I wrote where I didn’t have as much to say but that I was either tired or had things I wanted to write about were the ones where I received texts/comments more so than my other works.
I’m tempted to conclude those posts because they are either vulnerable in their honesty, their brevity, or that they leave space for participation and collaboration have elements I should infuse moving forward. Let me know what you think it is.
Here’s what the interactions were:
A friend texted me that she was proud of me for keeping up my promise to myself when I first made a post about not having a full essay. And that made me feel so good for her seeing me and my efforts. She is the friend who told me she clutched her pearls reading this essay:
Another friend following this post sent me a highlighted version of that post with her preferences for what I could write about with the caveat “to the degree you care.” And of course I care because, I love when people read what I write and tell me what they think (for better or worse). It’s like performing in front of a quiet/still crowd, quiet/pensive/attentive, or a super loud crowd. I’m really content to have attentive and pensive friends who show their appreciation in these small ways.
The same “I wanted to write…” post landed a comment from someone I don’t know in person, which made me happy because it’s nice when you reach folks you’re not yet friends with.
Question: What’s the right length or depth?
I was thinking about the grief series and how I broke that up over a few essays, which felt more manageable. I also know those were pieces that could stand on their own. I love to compact things for a clearer through-line as I write, but I don’t always think about what the reader can handle.
I also would never impose a word limit. I have no clue what the word count is nor do I ever check. I write what is on my heart until my heart feels like it’s said what needed to be said. I want the reader to think “it gave what was supposed to be given” and “you ate that.”
What are some essays/pieces/reflections that are not super long that felt meaningful or substantive? I ask so that I can level set from people who actually read my work what feels right. I don’t have that discernment, so please do NOT throw this question back to me
What’s an essay I could have split up and you’d still be able to follow along? I ask this because I know I can be dense so it might take multiple reads, but I tend to aim for completeness of the narrative as a writer assuming people can or will pace themselves.
What are some singles and demos (or liner notes)? I’ve been thinking about some of my works as deluxe albums, albums and extended plays. And that I should also mix in some singles, demos, and snippets for variety, but also to give me some breathing room for the other goals.
Question: Do you want to participate more?
I write to connect and engage. I do not write to be the authority. I have had people tell me they like what I write because it gives me words or ideas for what they are thinking/feeling but did not know how to articulate fully. That kind of compliment is what kept me going on IG stories for as long as I had.
I also love when people send in requests or things they’d want me to cover. I don’t really do hot takes and I try to steer clear of trending topics because I’d like to have evergreen content that either reflects who I was at the time or a decently formed concept of what was occurring at the time.
What would make you comment? Again, this would make things public. But if that’s not your concern, let me know what you’d like to see more of. Do you want questions at the end of pieces to generate discussion?
Do you know how much I value your opinions as readers? I love writing with a person in mind. It’s why I wrote about pillion. It was after a conversation with a friend on the phone and same with the OBAA vs Sinners post. You can also add topics you want me to cover to a queue. I typically cover: the construction of masculinity, queer life, Blackness, weight-body-identity, and building community. But no question or topic is off limits. A friend today has encouraged me to write about kink. And through a few messages over IG, we got to a place where I know what I can write that makes sense to me.
Would you ever sit for an interview? I have a concept up my sleeves since 2020 that was initially crafted as a video series and I was pushed away from doing by some who called the subject too narrow. But I’m now back to thinking it is a good idea. Instead, I’d offer the chance to do video, audio, or just a transcript of our conversation. I’d omit your name if you preferred. If this is even remotely appealing to you, I can send you more info!
So I literally was wondering what I would write about for the last like 36 hours. I had the stuff from last week, what my friend has added as her interest, and then I even spent last night outlining 5-6 different essays.
And yet, this is what I wrote for today instead. This is my process. I sometimes find myself just getting carried by creativity and inspiration. You’d be surprised by how a fleeting thought can lead to a 2 hour writing session and then boom. PUBLISH.
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I hear your joy from reading your writing.